It is my job to keep that door open

There’s a longing in my body that I always felt.
For a place where I feel complete because I can be all of myself. Where all of my desire and all of my fear is welcome. Where communication is effortless, because I just say what is true to me and you hear me. You see me. You feel me.
Sometimes it gets unbearable and I close my eyes, because it’s so lonely in here and no one seems to feel the same pull as I do.
And sometimes someone suddenly steps into my life and I can see the exact same intensity in their eyes, the pain of hardly ever being seen. Eyes that do see clearly. That show the unconditional yes to life and the inexorable will to go on. The knowing, that it is just a matter of time, and a door will open. Someone will meet me here. They will come, transform me and then they might go, and it is my job to keep that door open.

It is my job to keep that door open.

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